Note: The events in this article occurred a few years prior to the COVID-19 crisis.
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Last Fall, I made a decision that most people will agonize about.
It’s a decision that nurses face every day. But for some nurses, it’s often extremely difficult to follow through with it. And I get that. But what’s disheartening is that we sometimes have all made an even more difficult decision– choosing not to do anything at all.
Back when I was in nursing school, working in critical care had always been one of my goals. And in my nursing career, I’ve had the opportunity to work in the emergency/trauma rooms in a number of Trauma I facilities.
I loved the thought of not knowing what was coming through the door. That kept me excited about the possibilities in nursing and also kept me on my toes. I thought I would never get bored and that the environment would always be welcoming.
Also, as in any profession, I believe that I can learn something new each day. So I appreciated the learning curve that came along with the fast-paced environment.
At one particular facility, I was working per diem in the emergency department which required just 4 shifts in a 6-week period. And although I was required to work very few shifts, I found myself working a full-time schedule in the very beginning to make the most of that learning opportunity.
And I was really enjoying my work!
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But then things began to change.
I was exhausted waking up in the morning, even on my off days.
I was working way too much in the ER/Trauma department while also working on-call shifts as a forensic nurse. Essentially, I was working a full-time (plus) schedule despite being on-call and per diem in both positions.
Then, the requirements for my per diem position in the ER/Trauma department changed.
The requirement went from 4 shifts to 6 shifts every 6 weeks and a requirement to work evenings and nights. And I know this schedule change was a cake walk to the majority of nurses with whom I worked with, but for me, I no longer had MY choice.
At that time, it really felt like the beginning of a change of how I had chosen to live my life, making me give up what I had worked so hard to find… working how I wanted, on my schedule, on my terms (especially the change from working only day shifts to evenings to nights).
That became the non-negotiable.
Around the same time, I was in the middle of starting my own business, a boutique travel firm where I would tour clients around some of my favorite places in the world.
On a few international trips, I had found a new love of travel, and my new business would give me that opportunity to “travel for fun, not work” as I had coined as a new tagline.
With this new opportunity to start my own business, I began to get excited about the day-to-day again. But at the same time, my new requirements at work began to put my dreams on hold, stifling them day by day.
So I began to resent work.
I began to work harder at switching my evening and night shifts with those who now had the new opportunity to work my coveted day shifts.
And that was a job within itself!
My life began to revolve around my work schedule again, instead of the other way around. My schedule and my time were no longer my own.
And, I felt as if I was going backwards… instead of forward in starting a new opportunity in business that I was truly beginning to love.
So, a day came one October when I found myself in my manager’s office.
I told her the truth after hiding from the exhaustion and disenchantment for so long.
It was then that I decided I must follow my dream of really moving forward with my plans of starting a business. Plus, there was a conference for nurses in business that I had just come across and really wanted to attend.
But, of course, I was scheduled to work.
I was at a crossroads.
I could either keep going in my current position at the hospital, dreaming of where I should spend my time or make the leap and take the risk to do what I was really drawn to do in my heart.
I was a bit fearful of the decision that I had to make. Not because I was afraid to actually quit my job, but because I was afraid to “quit” others and was concerned about what they would think of me.
But then reality hit… My life was not about living it the way others wanted me to. It was about living how I wanted.
So, I decided on me.
I decided to face my fear of disappointing others, and made a decision to support myself and my needs.
I spoke to my manager despite feeling truly horrible about my decision of disappointing her and the department, gave her an official notice, and then left her office.
After leaving, I felt so free!
And for some reason the sun shined a little brighter, the birds chirped a little bit sweeter, and on the drive home, I felt so much better!
Okay… that may be pushing it a bit… But honestly, despite the guaranteed pay check and increasing opportunity to earn more money because of the slim staffing, I felt free.
And even now when I think about it…
It was the best decision for me.
And in making that decision, I’ve learned some valuable lessons from the experience of quitting something that no longer served my purpose.
5 LESSONS I’VE LEARNED FROM QUITTING MY NURSING JOB
And note: these lessons can apply to any major change in your life.
1 – There’s never a right time.
Sometimes we get caught up in the thinking that the timing is not quite right to make a change. We’ll often say… “Oh, I’ll do it when I have more time, more money, more education, or more [fill in the blank].”
Truth is, the timing will never be perfect, and if you choose to wait, you’ll miss out on many opportunities that will present themselves as time moves on. I made the decision to make the leap at an inopportune time.
And I didn’t have a cushion of finances, time, or the best knowledge to move forward, but in my gut, it felt like the right decision.
And since that time, I’ve had many opportunities come my way simply because I was available to receive them. So, the right time is now, maybe even yesterday, especially if you’ve had that gnawing feeling for so long.
2 – It’s okay to take care of yourself.
Sometimes this is hard, especially for nurses. We spend so much of our time taking care of others, often neglecting our own needs. Then, it spills over into our home-life as well. But, you must find the time to take care of yourself and listen to your mind, body and soul.
Listen to your intuition.
If what you’re doing doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
And that’s not always an easy decision to come to and one that you shouldn’t take lightly either. It’s taken me a while to do this for things I truly don’t want to do because I often placed others before me, with a need to please them no matter the expense to myself, my time and my health.
So don’t apologize for saying “no” when it’s in your best interests. You’ll often discover that this is the best way to take care of yourself.
3 – When one door closes, another opens.
It’s okay to go after your dreams. And it’s okay to simply quit things that are no longer making you happy.
When I left my job that October, I immediately found time for engaging in things that I enjoyed. Best of all, I had the opportunity to do more with my business at that time than I had ever thought possible.
And after I made the leap, I began blogging more, contributing pieces as a health writer, hosted a live event, was a speaker for a popular nursing event during nurses’ week, completed tours in Greece and Turkey with private clients, was interviewed on a podcast, and much more…
All because I decided to close a door on one chapter of my life. Had I not, I would probably still be waiting for the best time to follow my heart… in which that time would probably never come.
4 – Money is a means, but can also be a hindrance.
For years since college, I remember thinking how I couldn’t wait until I could finally get a real job, make a little bit of money, and save up to go on a real vacation… some international trip where I saw tourist attractions all day and sipped on umbrella-adorned drinks all night.
I finally realized that it really doesn’t take too much money to travel. In fact it’s often cheaper in some areas of the world to live than it is in our cheapest of States (as you see below in my $9 per night at a charming little place in Bali).
I could have done it all along, but I just always thought travel was out of my reach because I felt I needed more money.
The constant need for more money hindered me.
5 – Life is really too short.
Yes, this is cliché, but it is the truth. Just think about a dream or desire you had 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago. Have you accomplished it, or have the years flown by and it’s still out of reach?
What can you do about it now? I’m sure that dream is still waiting on you!
Now…
Have you been thinking about making a major change in your life or career? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to comment below.
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Thank you for this beautiful honest post. It could not have come at a better time in my life. Just the inspiration I needed to re-examine my non-negotiable’s. I recently lost my job unexpectedly. I’ve been working on creating my own business as well, but continued to place it on the back burner. Until now.
This quote hit home, especially in my family unit: “I was a bit fearful of the decision that I had to make. Not because I was afraid to actually quit my job, but because I was afraid to “quit” others and was concerned about what they would think of me.”
Thank you again for your vulnerability. Love and support to all!
XO
Thanks Vanessa for your thoughtful reply. I hope you’re now doing well despite your recent job loss. Keep in touch, and let me know how I can help in terms of getting your started in business.
25 years as an rn in the same hospital. Too young to retire but I’m cashing in my chips wish me luck. I can’t do it anymore. The hospital I once loved feels like a battlefield.
I have been at this career for 40+ years. I’ve done the clinician, educator, a little research, and management pieces. Anything I do will fall under 2 of the 4 categories. Oh how I loved my novice year as a new head except for my not so nice young manager. Then, I worked in Michigan at a most prejudice hospital. I believe I experienced PTSD before it became a diagnosis. I loved teaching but as you know the monies are low. I enjoyed patient advocacy but like education,, no money there either. One of my best experiences was working in Arkansas. Those were my best nursing days and I hold those nurses near and dear to my heart and it’s been close to 30 years ago. There’s a lot to be said for working among people who look and talk like you. Now, I’m making more money than I have ever made and the first time in my career and for the 1st time in my career, it’s the money keeping me there. It’s not an environment conducive to growth. My growth feels like it’s come to a screeching halt. Not happy if not growing. I would welcome proven strategies or ideas for how to turn things around for rmyself. It’s led to depression, anxiety, and self-doubt. I would like to know about how to travel with nurses.
Thank you for that blog post. I too was going to school to be a nurse aND said no.. that’s not me. But I am starting blogging but I have all of my topics but I’m still haven’t posts yet. .I enjoyed reading this post. Very inspirational
I switched to bedside nursing after 6 years doing dialysis and now I am thinking if I made a mistake. I want to quit nursing.
It’s great to hear you followed your gut to get out. I am in a bit of a bind at the moment, I left one job due to not having any real way of moving up (I do not want to be a bedside RN forever). So I switched hospitals. This new hospitals has a lot of room to grow, but insurance benefits were not 100% given up front and they are terrible!!!!! I think I need to leave, my family cannot live like that. I am trying to go back to my old job, but I don’t want to be stuck again. And I don’t want to burn any bridges with my new job. I feel let down by the profession I chose…
I am balancing working PRN. I am on the path to become a doctor. I just can’t continue working as a nurse until I retire. The place I work is making me work 12 hour shifts when initially it was agreed upon the 8 hours is okay. I plan to work as a advice nurse until I finish my MD prereqs. I am currently taking calculus and am doing well. I have a bachelors in nursing so I only have to take a few more classes.
I am a critical care nurse. I was actually recently working in Interventional radiology with 2 older grumpy nurses. When I went to work my heart would race from the time that I arrived to the time I left. Nursing has given me joy, through my patients and through just doing the right thing. I think the problem is that none of that matters any more. Management only comes to you with complaints. I lost my job today. The hospital told me that if I was not working in IR then I wasn’t allowed to work anywhere else. The ICU manager even called HR and the CNO, they desperately needed help in the unit as nurses were taking 3 and 4 patients which I had never even heard of. Today nursing expects loyalty from employees but does not give loyalty in return, they expect you to give up your family life, watching your kids grow up, taking care of your elderly parents and not take care of yourself. If you get sick you can lose your job working with sick people??!! I feel peace, finally, but I need to figure out what to do asap. I have no idea how to build a website, but I can sell ice to an Eskimo. I want to laugh again, so things with my family, take care of ME for once. I’m finally free, and God NEVER closes one so It without opening another.
I am frustrated with nursing.Have tried all fields and maybe youre right about using a counselor for suggestions.Most nurses i know are very unhappy.It wasnt like that when i started out in field.
I want to congratulate and thank you! I am a recent Nursing graduate (at 48) and accepted an intern position in an OR. At first it was very exciting but I have since discovered it is not a good fit for me. I want to be more involved in direct patient care, but have been afraid to “quit” as I don’t want to disappoint those who have faith in me and gave me such a great opportunity. I have decided after reading your story that I really need to do what will make me happy and proud of myself. I can’t give the best care to my patients if I dread going to work everyday. So, thanks again Michele
I have worked in the field for several decades, you made a great call. And they
are pulling this per diem rule change everywhere. Don’t ever put work before you, I have
been a solo floater all over in many places for 5 years and the stark reality of Healthcare is plain scary. I no longer take crap, before an interview they know. It’s per diem or no go. I will leave a place if it is dangerous and never look back, it was hard at first, but I now have the most diversified background and training. Now I am looking to rest my Laurels. They need to wake up and give some Nurses respect or soon there will be none .
This is exactly what I needed to hear! I have been a full time nurse in Canada for 2 years now on a highly specialized unit. The place I work is amazing, my colleagues are like no other, and I absolutely love working with my patient population. For about 5 months now I have had this “feeling” that I need something else, different, a change and have recently found my health to be suffering. The constant stress, demands, lack of resources, wait times, go-go-go has proved challenging to me..I find that I might be experiencing burn out. Outside of nursing I have many passions that fuel my fire and being an entrepreneur is one of them! I actually opened my business while I was in nursing school, even before I had my first nursing job! I find myself at a crossroad..do I go part time to focus on my business? My family says keep full time for the benefits, the pension, the security in hours etc. My finances tell me to stay full time. But..I am not happy, I feel emotionally, physically and mentally drained and my health is suffering. I am wondering if my 2/3 schedule is just not working for me any more and if that could potentially be the reason I feel the way I do! I need to give more to my family, friends, business and life itself. I am nervous to go part time because most part timers on my unit have no say in the shifts they work. Your assistance means the world to me! – Stephanie
It really gave me some belief that I cant do it.You inspired me by the way you described it.
”After leaving, I felt so free! And for some reason the sun shined a little brighter, the birds chirped a little bit sweeter, and the ride home was much better!”awesome..u must be a nature lover and love to be in present.& ‘There’s never a right time”..perfectly said.Thank you so much to write this article.
Hi Marsha,
I have been wanting to quit nursing for a long time but my mother keeps saying to keep going until u find another job! However, last week she said ok just quit already and I was scared but extremely happy at the same time. I threw away my nursing uniform and felt a sigh of relief that this burden is finally gone. Moreover, I have another bachelors in health care management and have been wanting to pursue something in this field for a long time. The issue is my sponsor paid for my nursing school and provided me with a salary for 4 years and I have to pay them back. I can’t afford to pay them and my mother doesn’t want to sell her land to pay them either. I am sure I will find a job and pay them monthly but she is constantly scaring me and making me feel alone. She is the one who forced me to get in nursing school as we didn’t have any financial means for me to go for the degree that I actually wanted. Now I am scared as well and am having so much pressure from her to go back to my sponsor and work as a nurse again! I swear I feel like if I go back I might commit suicide as I will go back to where I started! Please advise!
Hello it was a treat to know that you followed your heart and are leading a self satisfying life now:)
I am really a confused fellow dont know what to do i have immense of creative and innovative entrepreneurial ideas but no time to persue them i am working as a mid level marketing manager in a health care company mine is a night shift job i started this job assuming will get time to persue my dreams in the morning but i am not doing anything as i hardly find time and i am very lazy . I dont know how to persue them should i proceed with what i am doing as of now or not as i am very much frustrated within as I am unable to do what i want i just want to be financially independent…It would be great if you can guide me through this mate !!!
Hi Mihir! Thanks for writing. I know working full-time and wanting to pursue another interest outside of working can be a challenge. The key is to set aside a couple of hours each week to work on your other passions. Maybe start before your shift instead of afterwards when you have the most energy. And start slow; don’t overwhelm yourself. Pen in 1 hour twice a week (and really stick to that time… no more) to work on your other goals. Then try adding an 30 minutes to an hour to that every week until you can find an amount of time you can manage. Financial independence starts with tiny steps. You’ll get there. Also, if you are a nurse (since you didn’t quite state), try reading my 25 Ideas for Entrepreneurship eBook to help you with those ideas here: http://bit.ly/get25ideasebook.
Hi Marsha, thanks for giving us an insight in your active Nursing career, and having the courage to make a change while still ahead. I guess you had to do this so we could benefit. This sure give inspiration to many thinking of making that change. I did not change ,but juggled many other jobs while doing Nursing. I have completed my Nursing career and look forward to really making my hobby work for me. I am aware that things will never be perfect ,but the time to start is now.
Yes Joan! The time is now to start. I look forward to helping you make your hobby work for you. Thanks for always reading the blog and contributing your thoughts!
Thank you for sharing your story Marsha. You have motivated me to be energetic again and not give up following my dream. I am still a student nurse at the moment and working towards the end of my course (hence I cannot drop out easily). I have found that nursing is not really for me even though I enjoyed caring for my patients. In fact, bullying/politics in my clinical placements has discouraged me from the profession but also helped me realize what I want to do. I am planning to give it a go in nursing after my graduation. Then if I feel like I can’t do it anymore, I may look for temporary jobs in retail. Meanwhile, I will go back to school to undertake courses in Film/Television/Media Production. Now I can say that I do need money but it’s not everything to my life. Our stories may be different but they are similar that we don’t worry about whether our decisions will disappoint others. I will not be afraid of letting my parents down because life is REALLY too short, and I don’t want to regret!
Hi Danny! Thanks so much for sharing your story. It’s really discouraging when we have those negative experiences, especially before we even get started in the profession. I am happy to know that you will give nursing a try. There are so many things we can do with our nursing degrees (look here: http://bit.ly/get25ideasebook). But, like you said, if it’s not for you… move on to something that fulfills your life because it is really short. And awesome you won’t worry about disappointing others. Not disappointing yourself is the key! Good luck and keep me posted!
I am a new grad on a telemetry floor and have been working for 4 months and I am feeling that nursing is not for me, at least hospital/acute care nursing is not for me. I am at a crossroads trying to figure out what I want to do and if I should quit now since I know hospital/acute care nursing is something I won’t be doing in the future. I really want to quit to figure out what I want to do and pursue it. It’s funny, before I started working as a nurse, I thought money was so important, but now I don’t care and I just want to be happy.
Thanks for sharing this Marsha. I’m going thru this same situation right now because I’ve considered leaving my full-time CVICU job. And as you mentioned, I’ve always put everyone’s needs above my own and I’m feeling overwhelmed, resentful, and used; but most of all I feel guilty because I allowed it for so long. I love to travel also and I need my Happy back!!!!Thank you for helping me see and believe, that I can and will have my own business.
Hey Tonya! If we should feel any guilt– it should be because we haven’t taken care of ourselves first. Congratulations on acknowledging this. Get your happy back and keep me posted!
Thank you first of all. You just inspired me more than words can say. I have been wanting to practically do the same thing but keep waiting for money to be right. The kids to be out of the house. I don’t know how to do it. How can I turn a hobby I love (travel), into a business. I’ve had all of these things stop me..until now. So I thank you. Your story gave me hope.
Hi Monique! Sometimes our obligations can hinder us. And sometimes we’ll also use them to keep us in our comfort zone. Congrats on starting anew!
For the last 3 years I have grown to dislike nursing in the UK. By now I have done 5years in emergency department and now in intensive care, have had a very difficult week. I want to leave- my should says stay let situation improve then leave. I am trying not to leave but I am more miserable, feel poisonous to people in personal life, I’m stressed and then management who simply lack doing anything to help. They are powerless, nursing seems to have changed more and more- for the worse. I want to leave, there is always something I wanted to work in, and now I’m going to figure this out. I need to make moves carefully so I can still keep a roof over my head to pay my bills while I have a career change
Hi Stella! I’m sorry to hear about your troubles. Curious, have you been at the same facility for the last 3 years? If so, research other facilities to see where nurse satisfaction is higher. Sometimes just moving to another facility that’s more supportive may be all you need.
You can also try going part-time or Per Diem if you have that in the UK. With these options you may have better control over your schedule, giving you more personal time to pursue other interests until you find what’s right for you. Check out my other tips in this article: https://thebossynurse.com/should-not-quit/.
Keep me posted!
Words to live by. Bravo on your bravery to move on, Marsha!
Thanks for reading Norm!
Marsha,
Thanks for sharing the difficulty you initially had in making this life-changing decision, and the important life-lessons you gained. Your words of wisdom will be a source of support for other nurses considering reaching the entrepreneurship milestone. And, what nurseing entrepreneurship business conference was it that inspired you, if I may ask?
Hi Dr. Rachel! Thanks for reading and your comments. Sometimes disappointing your co-workers and leadership is the hardest part or making a move towards something new. Also, it was the National Nurses in Business conference that inspired me to expand my work.
Hi Marsha, I’m a practicing Pediatric Dentist and a Public Health Dentist in my place. To be honest that i don’t like being a dentist when i was in school ,but because of the influence of my mother who was a dentist herself i was able to finished the course. but my pediatric dentistry training was my choice and i loved it. On my 49th birthday last year i made a promise to myself that when i turn 50 i will quit my private practice and keep my work in the government, however now that we are facing a different problems brought about by the pandemic, now i am torn between quitting my practice or to extend and give a little time to see patients but because my work as a public health dentist is giving me an anxiety. i don’t know if this is a normal reaction by someone wishing to stop. i closed my clinic temporarily. i haven’t moved out the dental equipment and instruments. i hope i can make a tough decision,and be brave. thank you for your time.
Hi Marie. Thanks for sharing so openly. And yes, having anxiety is normal when we have to make life-changing decisions. So be good to yourself and check in with your feelings often, knowing what you feel is valid. Here’s to hoping that you make the right decision for you!
That was a great move on your behalf. I am working very part-time now and in school, I really want my business to work for me. Although I work part-time, I still have limited time to put into my business. but I am not giving up, I will continue to pursue until I make it. I am grateful that you started this way and it allowed you to help others.
Thanks for reading Beverly! And, it’s great that you’ve started part-time. This will not only help you financially (since you’re still working) but allow you to not rush into decisions and really take your time to examine what’s working and not working in your new business and not feel the need to make immediate change. The 30 Day Startup Challenge has really helped you get started, and you’ve made tremendous progress. Congratulations!
I was a nurses for over 40 years. Even after retiring I continued to work as an agency nurse. Following 2 total hip replacements I still continued to work. I used to book shifts on the busiest ward of the hospital. I knew the staff and I knew the ward well although many nurses wouldn’t work there and also their own staff left in droves. This started to cause etaff shortages and work became harder and more difficult as the patients conditions got more and more harder to manage as we got all sorts from Alcoholics to drug users, mental health, elderly confused patients even very ill patients that should have been in ITU we were supposed to manage. It got to the point that I told my agency that if this practice continued that we worked understaffed I would leave and I did. One night I went on duty and again 2 nurses down. I just couldn’t take it and I called the agency, told the NIC that I was leaving and walked out. I promised myself that that was final for me l left the job I loved so much because if I didn’t I would have gone mad. We used to be blamed if a confused patient fell as we were constantly told to prevent them from falling yet look after seriously ill patients as well. I never used to drink water or even have time to go to the toilet. The next day I got emails from the complaints department and you know what I was furious. Yes I walked away because no one cares about the nurses as all we did was just got on with it.
Sometimes I could barely walk to get to the bus stop. Guess it was my fault I should have just stayed home because of my hips… But I used to manage. Today I feel so low although I feeling OK at first but I’m angry because nurses are suffering. The work is so hard. Patients are different to what we knew from way back. Some of the conditions they come in with are hard to manage. Sometimes I would have 3 people on hrly bms on insulin pumps. hrly neuro obs. Someone else on blood then thered the confused dementia pt trying to climb out of bed…. And one person is looking after all of them total of 8..plus all the medical and nursing notes to write up… I’m sorry for what I did but will never ever nurse again. I have told the complaints people to report me and Nmc can take my pin. I am done.